ADVICE

ADVICE

ADVICE THAT HURTS

HOW CAN SOMEONE TELL WHEN THEY ARE GETTING BAD ADVICE? 

(1 Kings 12:1-15)

 "But Rehoboam rejected the advice of the elders and instead asked the opinion of the young men who had grown up with him and who were now his advisers". (1 Kings 12:8)

BOTH THE ADVICE AND THE ADVISERS SHOULD BE EVALUATED.

 (Job 18:1-19:6)

"How long will you torture me? How long will you try to break me with your words?" (Job 19:2)

Rehoboam asked for advice, but he didn’t carefully evaluate that advice. If he had, he would have realized that the advice offered by the older men was wiser than that of his peers. To evaluate advice, ask if it is realistic, workable, and consistent with biblical principles. Determine if the results of following the advice will be fair, make improvements, and give a positive solution or direction. Seek counsel from those more experienced and wiser. Advice is helpful only if we evaluate it with God’s standards in mind.

EVALUATE ADVICE IN THE LIGHT OF GOD’S WORD.

Bildad’s second speech was really no different from his first except that it was more harsh, as was Eliphaz’s. Job’s friends accused him of sin to make him feel guilty, not to encourage or correct him. When we face difficulties, pain, and suffering, we can expect well-meaning Bildads to come along, quoting proverbs and giving advice and not really listening to us or identifying with our pain. Rather than seeking to understand, they give unhelpful, trite answers. When receiving this useless advice, listen politely. Then, in order to sort out the helpful advice from the empty words, talk to God about what was said. When giving advice, avoid empty words. It is more important to convey care and support than to speak the right words.

ADVICE THAT HELPS

HOW IMPORTANT ARE THE SOURCES OF OUR ADVICE?

 (Proverbs 6:20-24)

 "My son, obey your father’s commands, and don’t neglect your mother’s teaching". (Proverbs 6:20)

THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN TRUSTWORTHY IN THE PAST OUGHT TO BE CONSIDERED IN THE FUTURE (Mark 10:17-31)

"Jesus felt genuine love for this man as he looked at him. “You lack only one thing,” he told him. “Go and sell all you have and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” (Mark 10:21)

It is natural and good for children, as they grow toward adulthood, to strive to become independent of their parents. Young adults, however, should take care not to turn a deaf ear to their parents-to reject their advice just when they may need it most. If you are struggling with a decision or looking for insight, check with your parents or other older adults who know you well. Their extra years of experience may have given them the wisdom you seek.

GOOD ADVICE COMES FROM THOSE WHO GENUINELY LOVE OTHERS.

Jesus showed genuine love for this man, even though he knew he might not follow him. Those who love are able to give tough advice that doesn’t hedge around the truth. Christ loved us enough to die for us, and he also loves us enough to talk straight to us. If his love were superficial, he would give us only approval; but because his love is complete, he gives us life-changing challenges.

EVALUATING ADVICE

HOW CAN WE KNOW WHEN ADVICE IS WORTH TRUSTING?

Numbers 13:1-14:19

"But Caleb tried to encourage the people as they stood before Moses. “Let’s go at once to take the land,” he said. “We can certainly conquer it!” (Numbers 13:30)

IS THE ADVICE BASED ON FACTS?  (Job 5:8-27) 

"But consider the joy of those corrected by God! Do not despise the chastening of the Almighty when you sin". (Job 5:17)

Two wise men, Joshua and Caleb, encouraged the people to act on God’s promise and move ahead into the land. Imagine standing before a crowd and loudly voicing an unpopular opinion! Caleb was willing to take the unpopular stand to do as God had commanded. To be effective when you go against the crowd, you must (1) have the facts (Caleb had seen the land himself); (2) have the right attitude (Caleb trusted God’s promise to give Israel the land); and (3) state clearly what you believe (Caleb said, “We can certainly conquer it!").

The people rejected the advice and even talked of killing Joshua and Caleb. Don’t be too quick to reject advice you don’t like. Evaluate it carefully and weigh it against the teaching in God’s Word. Those who offer the advice may be conveying God’s message.

DOES THE ADVICE FIT THE SITUATION? (Proverbs 10:1-21)

"The words of the godly are like sterling silver; the heart of a fool is worthless". (Proverbs 10:20)

Eliphaz was correct-it is a blessing to be disciplined by God when we do wrong. His advice, however, did not apply to Job. As we know from the beginning of the book, Job’s suffering was not a result of some great sin. We sometimes give people excellent advice only to learn that it does not apply to them and is therefore not very helpful. All who offer counsel from God’s Word should take care to thoroughly understand a person’s situation before giving advice.

IS THE ADVISER TRUSTWORTHY?

A lot of poor advice is worth less than a little good advice. It is easy to get opinions from people who will tell us only what they think will please us, but such advice is not helpful. Instead we should look for those who will speak the truth, even when it hurts. Think about the people to whom you go for advice. What do you expect to hear from them?

RESPONDING TO ADVICE

HOW SHOULD GOOD ADVICE BE HANDLED? (Proverbs 1:1-9)

"Fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge. Only fools despise wisdom and discipline. (Proverbs 1:7)

GOOD ADVICE SHOULD BE GIVEN WITH HUMILITY AND ACCEPTED WITH THANKS.

One of the most annoying types of people is a know-it-all, a person who has a dogmatic opinion about everything and who is closed to anything new. Solomon calls this kind of person a fool. Don’t be a know-it-all. Instead, be open to the advice of others, especially those who know you well and can give valuable insight and counsel. Learn how to learn from others. Remember, only God knows it all.

GOD’S WORD ON ADVICE

What should I do? This is a commonly asked question. In an age of conflicting claims and confusing directions, many search for wise counsel. It seems harder to know what to do these days. Maybe that’s why counselors are in such great demand and advice columnists are in every newspaper. But there is a critical difference between wise counsel and misleading advice, well-meaning direction that leads to destruction. Of all wisdom, God’s wisdom is the best, for his is given with a perspective of eternity. Who among us would not like to talk with someone who knows everything that will happen tomorrow and every tomorrow to come? We would do well to seek advice more often from the source of divine wisdom: God’s Word.

WHY DO I NEED ADVICE FROM OTHERS? WHY CAN’T I JUST RELY ON MY OWN WISDOM?

Proverbs 12:15 . . . Fools think they need no advice, but the wise listen to others.

Wisdom is the recognition of our own inadequacies. Foolishness is thinking we have none. It is wise to recognize our limitations rather than to discover them at the wrong time.

HOW VALUABLE IS WISE ADVICE?

Proverbs 25:11 . . . Timely advice is as lovely as golden apples in a silver basket.

Timely advice is not merely helpful, it is beautiful. It is not merely beautiful, it is valuable.

WHERE DO I LOOK FOR GOOD ADVICE?

Genesis 6:9 . . . Noah was a righteous man . . . He consistently followed God’s will and enjoyed a close relationship with him.

Titus 1:15-16 . . . Everything is pure to those whose hearts are pure.

Seek advice from those who are faithful, godly, honest, and trustworthy. They can be counted on to give you counsel that comes from God’s Word.

HOW DO I EVALUATE THE ADVICE OF OTHERS?

2 Chronicles 22:4-5 . . . Members of Ahab’s family became [Ahaziah’s] advisers, and they led him to ruin.

Matthew 7:15-20 . . . You can detect them by the way they act, just as you can identify a tree by its fruit.

2 John 1:9-10 . . . If you wander beyond the teaching of Christ, you will not have fellowship with God.

It is important to seek advice from those who love God and have a good knowledge of the Bible. When evaluating their advice, check it against the truth of God’s Word. If it contradicts the Bible, avoid it at all costs.

HOW DO I GIVE GOOD ADVICE TO OTHERS?

Philippians 4:8 . . . Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.

In giving advice to others, have pure motives, point to God’s Word, don’t use advice as an excuse to lecture, pray about what you want to say, and have the other’s best interests in mind. Words are like medicine; they should be measured with care, for an overdose may do more harm than good.

SOME PEOPLE ALWAYS SEEM TO HAVE SPECIAL ADVICE BECAUSE THEY HAVE A SPECIAL ADVISER.

1 Samuel 3:19 . . . As Samuel grew up, the Lord was with him, and everything Samuel said was wise and helpful.

People listened to Samuel because Samuel had something important to say. But Samuel had something important to say because he had a good adviser-the Lord God himself.

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I FOLLOW GOOD ADVICE?

Psalm 1:1 . . . Oh, the joys of those who do not follow the advice of the wicked, or stand around with sinners, or join in with scoffers.

Godly advice builds joy while evil advice robs our joy. Following evil advice leads to sorrow and disaster, robbing us of joy and satisfaction. Godly advice leads to good results, enriching our joy.

THE ABILITY TO GIVE WISE COUNSEL IS A GIFT FROM THE HOLY SPIRIT, NOT THE RESULT OF INTELLIGENCE.

1 Corinthians 12:8 . . . To one person the Spirit gives the ability to give wise advice; to another he gives the gift of special knowledge.

PROMISE FROM GOD:

Psalm 32:8 . . . “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.”

God will give you good advice.